Moulin Rouge meets Country Bumpkin

A few weeks back I ventured into Clover & Rye with 3 of my nearest and dearest. We were on the search for a spectacular breakfast and when looking on Bridge Rd, you don’t usually need to look far.

The stomachs were rumbling like a big rock fall on an Indiana Jones movie so waiting in a line wasn’t really an option. After a wander, we decided upon the recently opened Clover & Rye.

Bridge Road….a feast of amazingness for breakfast, and Richmond in general really has got it going on. Within a few minutes’ walk or drive you’ve got Touchwood, Café Azul, Friends of Mine, LBSS, Top Paddock…the list goes on. Sadly from the start of our Clover & Rye ‘experience’, we weren’t expecting much.

The décor was nice enough but as you move further into the café, there is a big reddish…purple-ish curtain in the back that seems to belong in a Moulin Rouge movie more than sitting beside a side of avo.

Ok so let’s start with the staff. I said it in my last post, and I’ll say it again. Service, people! Service. We encountered about 4-5 different staff members at Clover and Rye and each looked like they were being forced to be there, hating life and everythingggg seemed like a hassle. I just wanted to shake them and say SMILE!! Sure a couple of them may have been suffering hangovers and other first world issues but still, you’re working, put on the charm and the day will go faster! It’s a scientific fact that work is much more enjoyable when you smile. I read it. Somewhere.


There were a couple of daisies on each table and even they looked sad. It’s hard to make a daisy look sad.

So after a while of trying to get the bored waitresses’ attentions, we got some water and some lacklustre cawfees. The menu itself is a pretty standard brekky menu, nothing too out there.  The boys were keen for a ‘big brekky’ of sorts, so they ordered that. It looked pretty standard when it came to the plate, not a lot of love. The boys of course ate it all. Beans were definitely just Heinz or the aldi equivalent.


Side note. Big fan of aldi. Not ditching aldi at all when noting it in this blog. The game of catching groceries as the checkout chick flies them through the register at the end is like Mario Party in real life. Kinda.

Sorry. Distracted.

My lovely EY and I ordered the smashed avo. Now this one said it was mixed with yoghurt, which we were a little confused about, but hey, how can you get smashed avo wrong?

….like this.


Yeh it looked ok, but even with all the garnishes….the taste was pretttty bland. I ate it because I was hungry….but it was easy to tell that the avo had been made in a very large tub of sorts and then splatted onto the bread. There wasn’t even chunks of avo, it was a weird experience for my senses as it was almost as if we were eating green natural yoghurt. Hmm not the greatest.

Toast was burnt too. I could smell it before they brought our food and really hoped it wasn’t going to belong to us. Or anyone really. Reminds of waking up on a Sunday morning at my rentals place. Mum’d never fail to burn the toast. Oh the memories.

Didn’t want to complain at the time as the staff looked as if they had just watched the end of Marley & Me,  and I didn’t want to make it worse. The dog gets put down people. Cue tears. Gah gets me every time.

So yes, if they had smiled or been a tad more….human…that would have been appreciated. If they take the yoghurt out of their avo, that would be great. Take down the red curtain too, I kept looking over my shoulder expecting a row of lingerie-clad women to come out and do the can can.

Not going to be returning to Clover & Rye. I’d rather wait a few millennia for a spot at one of the good haunts.

I’ll give them a 1/10 – the chair was comfy.

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