Touchwood we won’t have to go back to Lumberjack.

 She’s done it. Linked two places into the same heading. And it ALMOST makes sense. A roar goes up from the crowd. Woooo.

Anyway where was I, ahh yes. Bridge Rd, Richmond.

So. I love breakfast. If you have read a couple of these posts you would have probably realised that by now. I also love lunch, dinner, brunch, linner, supper (whatever that equates to), and snack time…and nap time.

I recently ventured to Touchwood for a brunch with AB and this place really is one of the greatest. It’s massive, yet as soon as you walk into the place, it feels familiar, and the staff are just lovely. Ok yes I sound like you grandma but it’s true. It’s a great place to catchup with friends, you’re not rushed, the cawfee is delish and the food is even better.


I went with the grainy Mexican salad with poached chicken and it was so tasty. Not very heavy on any flavour in particular but it all just worked and was super dooper fresh. Sitting out in their courtyard, sipping cawfee, eating and hearing about AB taking over the world. Not a bad way to spend an RDO.


She had the smashed avo which looked awesome. AB had ventured to Touchwood a few times prior and had had this dish a few times. Yum yum yum. The bread was even delicious. Touchwood, you got it going on. 10/10, 5 stars yada yada yada.


Touchwood on Urbanspoon

Now we venture into not nice territory. A mere 20 metres down the road, we have Lumber Jack. A relatively new establishment so maybe they were working out a few kinks the day I was there, but good service is something you need to have nailed in peeps. Grinds my gears I tell ya.

I didn’t even take photos. THAT’S how disheartened I was.

So me and my red headed companion realllly wanted Touchwood, but as my stomach was growling like my dog, and the wait was well….long at Touchwood, we decided to give Lumber Jack a go.

We all know ‘the look’. The awkward wide eyed half smile we do to the waitress/waiter to get their attention when we walk into a joint. We sat….awkward smile….awkward smile…10 minutes passed, and eventually got up to get our own menu. First world problem? Yes. BUT in a busy café on bridge rd, you gotta be nice to your customer.

So eventually after a ridiculous hand wave (my most hated gesture) the waitress came over to take our order. I went with the Avo Smash w Poached Eggs and their “spin on it” of a tomato and herb sauce. NB. The menu said RYE. RYE. RYE bread. You got it? Remember that for later.

Yes ok, as many have said on Uspoony and Facey, the coffee is damn good, and it’s bad when bad service even ruins cawfee.

So we waited….and then coffee came and was guzzled. I’d been up since 4.30am watching triathlons, I needed ze caffeine. NB. I was not participating. Just in case you thought I was fit. I’m not.


Sums me up quite nicely…I’m hungry now.

Then the brekky came out. Hurray food! Boooo. As soon as I looked at the plate I noticed there was nooo RYE. Remember the ‘Rye’ from before?

So I thought I’d just ask the waitress …. I got a very curt reply of “Oh we don’t have any”.

TELL. YOUR. CUSTOMERS. PEOPLE. All it would have taken was a ‘oh sorry we are out, is sour dough ok?’, when I ordered. Yes it’s a first world problem and yes the grainy sourdough was ok. BUT it wasn’t what I ordered and I was treated very unpolitely for asking about it.

Don’t mess with me when I’m hungry and over tired. After the bread ordeal, the food was ok. But if you do order the Avo Smash, don’t eat their “spin on it” Tomato Sauce. Uber sweet and not a good mix with ze avo.

Poor red head gets embarrassed when I query waiters, and he knows I love my Rye, so he knew it was coming. He ordered the fruit toast which was good admittedly but the serving was pretty small for the price.

So all in all, good coffee, half decent food, awful service. Service alone turns me away, so, sorry I won’t be heading back to chop down any more trees Lumber Jack.

Rant Over.


Lumberjack on Urbanspoon

4 thoughts on “Touchwood we won’t have to go back to Lumberjack.

  1. You’ll find that Lumberjack is very average, and if you think that their coffee is good – you’ve clearly never had a good quality coffee.

  2. what a rude critique….i’m annoyed just reading your ‘cawfee’ and get your facts right…Lumberjack has been around for years…servicing locals with great meals using only fresh ingredients with great coffee to match.(as u said it!)..with a laid back, cosy feel to it which is hard to get from large, pretentious gigs like touchwood

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